Archive for the ‘Parenting Help’ Category
Happy kids – have them get along
Happy kids – have them get along
If you are a parent of more than one child you may find that sibling rivalry adds a great deal of stress to your life. And worse yet unfortunately, by allowing the process of sibling rivalry to work itself out, it adds additional stress to a parent’s life. The key to handling this as a parent is to be aware of the benefits of sibling rivalry and help your child enhance these skills in other positive and productive ways. Some of the skills to enhance the benefits and avoid the pitfalls of sibling rivalry are as follows:
· Always use prevention as your best defense. Since most fighting is a way to draw your attention to them, try to short circuit that from happening in the first place. You will want to incorporate special time with each child. Try to set up schedules, stick to them and make yourself available to each of your kids. You can have your kids go on special outings with each parent and do different things with each child.
· Give your kids a break from each other. If it is at all possible, separate your kids. It is important to let them have time alone while driving, at a friend’s house, visiting relatives, etc. Remember just like adults, kids need their own time and if they get cooped up in the same space for a long time they get irritated.
· Everything is not about sharing. While sharing is an integral point of getting along, often fighting occurs because kids feel out of control. Have your child choose two or three things that are theirs and theirs alone. Put the items on a shelf or in a special box and make it known that these are items that they do not have to share. This way your child feels like he has some control over his things and may be much more likely to share other items with his siblings.
· Always strive to appreciate your kids at all times. At certain times in life this can be more difficult (the teen years for one). Try to notice how often they get along without fighting. Pay special attention to their good qualities and what is unique about each child and remember that it’s their job to work things out, not yours. Remember your job as a parent is to be a role model, promote good feelings, open up clear lines of communication, develop mutual respect, and monitor your kids and their needs.
· Teach your kids to develop problem-solving skills. You want to give your kids the guidelines and skills to solve problems for themselves. Problem solving skills are often one of the things many adults lack. You can ask each kid during a family meeting how he or she can get along better with their sibling. You will want to discuss what things they might need from the other and ways to brainstorm possible solutions to these problems.
· Let go of the perfection expectations. As a parent you need to let go of your urge to worry and your expectation of being a perfect parent. The same thing goes for your kids. Despite all of your best efforts, if you have more than one child, prepare yourself that at some time they will fight and its o.k. It can also be important to learn how to roll with the punches and to ask yourself, “How big of a deal will this be in five years?” Learn how to enjoy life and laugh a little more and your kids will be better for it.
Visit http://www.surfnetparents.com for more For more parenting advice and ideas.
Parenting on the View
Teach your kids about the hard places
Teach your kids about the hard places
I live between a rock and a hard place and I love it! In fact, I wouldn’t live any other way and after I explain what I mean, I think you’ll say the same. Maybe, from what I just said, you think I live in a house on the side of a high rocky mountain where I must constantly climb up and down a rocky road. Well, figuratively, yes, I do. We all do. You see, the house I live in is my body. My body, because it is alive and healthy, is always traveling through the daily hazards and hard places of the world out there and I love it that way and so should you.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I enjoy things like suffering, struggle or turmoil and the other hard places of this life. I don’t. But my boss (Jesus) gives me orders and because I trust Him, I do what He says. Let me give you an example. In my printing business the other day, one of my customers said, after he gave me his order for 500 letterheads, “I really needed them yesterday!” Ha! That’s the story of my life. It’s been related that, the day I was born, my Dad looked at me and said, “Where have you been? I needed you yesterday! So you see, I’ve been running to catch up ever since! It seems there is always an urgent need (a hard place) whose deadline was always: yesterday. Do you find it that way? I do, in fact…I love it that way, and so should you.
Over the years I’ve made a discovery about hard places and suffering that I want to share with you. I used to consider hard places a burden. No more. I studied Jesus’ life. Doesn’t He always absorb the shocks of life for you and me? When here on earth, wasn’t He always “between a rock and a hard place?” You bet he was. Didn’t He soften the blows for you and me? He sure did. How did He do it? He depended on God, His Father, to be His rock, the One He held onto through everything. I’m sure He often said to His Father:
“Dad, I love You because You’re dependable. You’re My Rock!”
In short, we need to tell our children that Jesus is the Rock between us and the hard places in this life. Or, to say it in a more modern, up-to-date way, we must love and trust Jesus because He is the “shock absorber” between us and what, without Him, would be the unbearably – hard places – of our daily lives.
http://www.originalsbyweber.com
Ez-92-88.2-3.9
Terry Weber is a retired advertising/direct mail sales letter copywriter and inventor of several useful items. Terry and his wife Doris are Habitat For Humanity, RV Care-A- Vanners who, for the past eight years have volunteered to help build more than 39 houses all over the USA. They travel to and from the 2- week long builds in their RV. The money they make on their: http://www.originalsbyweber.com website helps them pay their expenses to and from those volunteer Habitat builds.
P.S. Due to the high cost of gasoline and some health problems, we can no longer drive the RV to Habitat builds. The RV is parked until health improves and gasoline prices come down.
Stop Crying by Going Outside
Keeping yourself fit – and spending time with the kids
Keeping yourself fit – and spending time with the kids
Many fathers live a well-rounded healthy lifestyle with regular workouts that involve their kids. First-time dads who think a new baby will interfere with their exercise schedule need not sacrifice their workouts but do need to supplement their parenting skills to include exercising with their kids. The trick here is to come up with kid-friendly routines. These routines are equally rewarding and also help in establishing healthy habits among children.
In an interview to the Associated Press, Heidi Hill, author of Fit Family: The Infant, Toddler and Preschool Years (Vitesse, 2008) explains how parents can hike, bike, run, and even kayak with their kids. Heidi and her husband, Tom have put this into practice by trying out many of these sports with their two daughters, aged 3 and 5 each. ”At the get-go, a lot of it can be miserable. You really have to persevere and know that you’re teaching a lifestyle.”, says Hill.
In the beginning, dads could try to fast walk with a jog stroller or jog alongside their kids as they bike. The key lies in using the right equipment that is not too clunky. A trail-a-bike is a one-wheel option that can be attached to the back of dad’s bike.
Workouts are a great way for dads to bond with their kids. As kids grow older, the positive effects of having family workouts increases exponentially. Dads need to listen to some good parenting advice by self-educating themselves and planning the workout in advance to make the experience fun for the entire family.
Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com. He writes articles on parenting, parenting skills, pregnancy and dads, parenting tips, baby names, baby rooms and many more topics related to dads.
How to give your baby pain relievers
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
How to teach your kids values
How to teach your kids values
Values are the principles you viewed to be right and important in life. One of the important areas which parents must look into when raising kids is the imparting of values to their children. Although it sounds easy but to effectively imparting your values to your children can be difficult and it needs a lot of patience and time. Parents have great effects on a child’s future lifestyle, so it will be wise to develop a positive lifestyle for your kids to follow.
So what should you be doing in order to effectively impart your values to your little ones?
1. Your children learn from you
To “do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t apply to the children of the modern world. It will only be smart to set good examples for your kids to follow because they love to learn from you. So do consider the values you will like to see in your children so that you can set an example for them to learn and follow.
For example, if you like to see politeness in your kids, you would need to display politeness when communicating with them or other people. You have to be a polite person before your child can follow your step.
Take another example; if you want your child to be humble, you would have to be humble yourself. You should not be displaying a sense of arrogance or feel too proud when dealing with people. Always eat your humble pie when you commit a mistake to show your humility. That way, they will learn from your value and follow the way you deal with things.
2. Praises means approvals
When your kids display positive behaviours, you should not forget to praise them. Praising is important because it is one of the more effective ways in which you can show your approval to them. Your children feel good and proud when they are praised by you and with such good feelings, they will want to behave positively again and again.
3. Learn from others
Whenever you see suitable situation, you can point out the positive behaviour or misdeed done to your children. Teach them the value of the good deeds done and hence, they can learn from others. There are actually a lot of such situations you can make use of. These examples can be from TV, newspaper or even when you are out shopping with them.
One important point to take note is that never compare your little ones with another child who have just did something good. If he or she is belittled by your comments, you will only cause negative effects on your child’s mind.
4. Get your children to help
I’ve seen parents stopping their child from helping with the house chores because they have a maid at home. Without having to help out in the house, their kid may grow up not knowing how to help others and expect everything to be prepared for him or her.
When children are given the chances to help out in the house, they will develop a sense of responsibility in them. With the ability to fulfill their responsibilities, they can grow up more confidently.
Imparting values can be simple when raising kids. As long as you know how to set examples, expose them to good and bad behaviours, teach and praise them, you will be able to impart your values to them easily.
Jeff Boo is an Educator with many years of teaching experience and a Father of a pair of twins. Both he and his wife are very experience in handling children If you are truly concern about your children’s learning journey, log on to http://www.essentialsforparents.com and sign up for your FREE instant access to the Children’s Resources Centre!
How to give your baby pain relievers
Solving Teething Problems
In his recent ABC news opinion column, “Want to Stop Bullies?” Lee Dye cites new studies that claim that: Of course. So what? I’m glad Mr. Dye is speaking out and I share his desire to stop bullies and harassment, bullying and abuse in schools. The reason I’m sarcastic is that I think these studies, done by interviewing 269 middle school students in four schools in North Central Florida, are typical of the thought process and pseudo-scientific research that says that: However, these assumptions are all false and this research adds nothing we didn’t already know. And the generalizations they’ve already come up with are contradicted by evidence from the recent suicide deaths of four girls in Schenectady, New York. We already know that getting the kids involved in anti-bullying programs is critical. We already know that it’s crucial to teach children what to do when they are bystanders and see bullying. In order to incorporate that knowledge into anti-bullying programs, we don’t need to wait until there’s more pseudo-science research to prove that point. In summary, we know that it’s everyone’s job to stop bullying in schools and everyone’s help is necessary, especially the kids. No one group can make a program work if the other members of the local community resist or are uncaring. The programs in New Hampshire are only the latest reports documenting what we know already. Successful programs have the seven elements crucial to success: Anti-bullying laws are necessary to force reluctant or uncaring district administrators and principals to act. They’re also necessary to protect principals and teachers who do act from bullying parents who defend their little terrorists and threaten to sue the principal and school for harassing their little bully. That’s like in the Harry Potter series where Lucius Malfoy protects his vicious son, Draco. The biggest problem in stopping bullies is not the lack of research about bullying: It’s the lack of skillful effort being put forth by the most caring people. At many schools, well-meaning principals and teachers need to join forces with a core group of parents to get programs in motion. At other schools, frustrated and angry parents need to rally other parents in order to force uncaring or cowardly school district administrators and principals to make effective school policies and then take act promptly and strongly. Resources Cited: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/DyeHard/Story?id=7517300&page=1 Ben Leichtling, Ph.D. is author of the books and CDs “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks,” “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids” and “Eliminate the High cost of Low Attitudes.” He is available for coaching, consulting and speaking. To find practical, real-world tactics to stop bullies and bullying at home, school, work and in relationships, see his web site and blog http://www.BulliesBeGoneBlog.com
Solving Teething Problems
Who should stop the bullying
She born with it – let her keep it
She born with it – let her keep it
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
No more tears!
She born with it – let her keep it
She born with it – let her keep it
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
Massage your baby
Kids can thrive in a single parent home
Kids can thrive in a single parent home
Negative Effects of Single Parenting
Normally when people think about the effects of single parenting, they consider only the negative aspects of the situation. While there is a great deal of potential for a child to develop negative effects of being a child in a single parent home, there is also the opportunity for them to thrive as well. One of the most common negative effects that can come from this situation is a decrease in the academic performance of the child. When the child or children have too much to deal with and are not given a good way to vent their frustration or resentment, they will often slack at school in an effort to gain attention or lash out.
Other negative effects of single parenting can include an increased risk of becoming involved in crime, alcohol or drug abuse, and other delinquent behavior that can negatively affect the child’s future. The reason that children of single parents tend to gravitate towards these behaviors is because of a lack of supervision, or because they do not receive the guidance or attention that they needed in order to deal with their feelings and the loss of a parent.
Positive Effects of Single Parenting
The positive effects of single parenting are often less discussed or applauded, but they do in fact exist. When a single parent takes the time to embrace being both a mother and father for their child and does everything within their power to make sure their child or children gets the help they need, then the following positive effects can occur.
Children of single parents have an increased ability to build stronger bonds with their remaining parent. If that parent opens themselves up and allows their child to come to them with any problem they might have, then the child will develop a bond with that parent that allows them to stay on a focused and responsible path.
Those who are raised by a parent that goes out of their way to get the children the emotional help they need after the loss of a parent have the ability to get better grades in school, shine socially, and to excel in all aspects of their lives without succumbing to peer pressure in order to fit in. Counseling after a parent has left or passed on will give a child all of the tools that they need in order to cope and not rebel or fall into detrimental behaviors.
There are both negative and positive effects of single parenting, and both should be considered closely. If a child is give the nurturing attention that they need during this difficult time, then they can steer away from the negative behaviors that they may have fallen prey to, and will be able to excel the same as or better than those from a two parent home.
Becoming a single parent is not an easy task for an individual to accomplish, and it is often a step that they were unprepared for. There are many side effects of single parenting which have the opportunity to both positively or negatively affect an individual. Find out more at http://www.singleparentingguide.com.
No more tears!
Kids Playgroups?
Kids Playgroups?
Playgroups are social gatherings with moms and their kids, that allow the kids to play with other children around their same age, and moms to socialize. They are often held at the park, or at someone’s home, and can be a lot of fun. Despite the fun involved and the fact that playgroups are sort of a rite of passage for mothers, there are some pitfalls.
One of the pitfalls many mothers recognize with playgroups is that often it is more for the moms than it is for the kids. This often results in the moms socializing and the kids are not being watched as well. Many a parent has gone home from playgroup with a child who has a scratch, a bump, a diaper that has been dirty for a long time, etc. When the moms start talking, they tend to neglect their children. Even if you go as a mom who watches your child well, if other moms are not watching theirs, it can mean your kid gets hit or scratched by someone’s child, and they do not do anything about it. So, if you intend to go to a playgroup, try to find one where the moms will socialize, which is important, but watching kids is the first priority.
Another of the common pitfalls of a playgroup is that it is a prime place for germs to spread. Basically, you can’t control whether or not another mom brings their kid to playgroup sick. In some cases, a mom will crave the social interaction so much that she won’t consider that her child has a cold, had the flu a few days before, or any other illness. This means that your child could be getting sick because someone else did not consider their child’s germs. Because the whole point of a playgroup is to get moms out of the house, and get kids interacting, it often leads to people coming no matter what, with sick kids, with ornery kids, etc. this is not a good situation to put your child into. So, there is a good chance your kid will be at risk. Obviously this is not always the case, and you can find good playgroups where everyone is really respectful of how their child’s health could affect your child’s.
One of the biggest pitfalls of a playgroup is that your child is either going to thrive or drown, there is not much in between. Kids tend to gang up when in larger groups, and your child could be the one being picked on. The problem with playgroups is that generally some kids will thrive, and others will wilt. This is especially true of already shy children. So, if your child is not an aggressive personality, it could actually make them more introverted then they already are. Of course, in some instances a playgroup can help your child to blossom and open up because they are exposed to new things, but you will need to choose your playgroup carefully if you do not want to make your child even less social than they currently are.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com